Just amusing...?

An error publishing an article


Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even provided a helpful photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could find their own growing in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead showed Destroying Angels, which are deadly when eaten.





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You can now eat your own plate


Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate.





Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including cups, bowls and food containers.





Chen spent six years developing the plate, which he said would retail at about 7 cents each.





Diners who don't want to eat the items - which taste like unsalted popcorn - can boil them for a nutritious meal for animals, he said.





Chen said this can help reduce pollution caused by discarded crockery. The only disadvantage, he said, is his crockery cannot be washed and reused.





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The bachelor's diet


MONDAY:





BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth





LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.





AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox





DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.








TUESDAY:





BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw





LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.





DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.








WEDNESDAY:





BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's





LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke





DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps








THURSDAY:





BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza





LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.





DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.








FRIDAY:





BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.





LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder





DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.








SATURDAY:





BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.





LUNCH - Ditto





DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.








SUNDAY:





BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.





LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.





DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

Just amusing...?
The only diet worse than that is mine. Its called the Cut-throat diet
Reply:lucky me, I can at least cook some little dishes!
Reply:tea up.lol
Reply:cool
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:hahaha, very amusing.
Reply:Wow that is good. Thanks for sharing lol
Reply:you back on form hun, pmsl, unfortunately loz won't let me eat the bachelor's diet any more


starred
Reply:some good ones there thanks
Reply:Those are great. Thanks for sharing lol.
Reply:That's my diet!!!





ROTFLMAO!!!
Reply:good ones hun, and no carpy you are not going on the bachelor's diet





have a star





xxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:Hahahahaaaaaa, glad i'm not single...pmsl
Reply:Ha ha ha very good worth a star,,ha ha
Reply:Funny
Reply:I never gave you permission to publish my diary, I thought the understanding was it would all remain strictly confidential...